“mountain rising” Collage, cut New Yorker Magazine paper, ink, 9" x 12" — **“Firebird: Life in Motion”**
Collage, cut *New Yorker* Magazine paper, 9" x 12"

I had no intention of paying tribute to a ballerina in this week’s collage.

But the New Yorker issue I chose (from 2014) had an interesting article about Misty Copeland. I had heard of her before, but I don’t really keep up with the ballet world.

True confession: I’ve never ever seen a single production of “The Nutcracker.”

P.S. I’m okay with that.

But Misty Copeland inspired me this week. In 2014, she was a soloist with the American Ballet Theatre, one of the three leading classical ballet companies in the United States. She was dreaming of becoming the first Black principal ballerina with the company. Her dream came true the following year.

“A New Leaf” by Peter de Sève @peterdeseveThe New Yorker, April 7, 2014 — “Back Story” by Lorenzo Mattotti @lorenzomattotti
*The New Yorker* Style Issue, September 22, 2014

The words that first sparked the idea for this collage, and the words that almost became the title were: “she is curvy and she is black.” It’s not difficult to imagine the uphill climb Copeland has faced in the ballet world with her curvy, Black body.

“Firebird” is the title role of a Stravinsky ballet. Copeland received a lot of acclaim when she danced that role in 2012. Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina is the title of her memoir published in 2014.

So I decided that the title “Firebird: Life in Motion” would honor her more appropriately.

One thing that Misty and I apparently have in common is a bout of disordered eating.

I was a fat kid. If there were even any ballet classes available to my chubby self in Milledgeville, Georgia, in the mid 1970s, I was not aware of them. I don’t know that I would have been interested even if there were. So I stuck with piano.

But eventually my mom enrolled me in a tumbling class. I think she thought the exercise would do me good. Instead, I ended up feeling self-conscious and inadequate.

I grew out of my “baby fat,” but that fat self-image never went away. Once I became a professional actor, I was negatively impacted by the body/beauty standards imposed on women in the performing arts. As was Misty.

It sounds like she and I both made it through that nightmare.

To this day, though, I still have to work on “life in motion.” After so many years of feeling disassociated from my own body, I have finally come to appreciate the synergy of body, mind, and spirit.

Some of my most centered and connected moments are when I am in motion. I now experience my body as a vessel for Spirit.

A regular exercise practice still doesn’t come naturally, but I do my best and give myself “grace over guilt,” as my online Pilates instructor advises.

Misty Copeland didn’t even start studying ballet until she was thirteen, and that was only because some adults in her life recognized her potential and encouraged her.

Misty pays it forward through her writing, teaching, and philanthropy. I guess that’s another way of living “life in motion”—taking action to uplift and be of service to others.

I have added Misty’s memoir to my reading list and look forward to learning more about her.

And even though I don’t frequent the ballet, I look forward to the time when a Black principal dancer is no longer an anomaly.